Photos by Penny

Back in Focus ;-)

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 10 Feb 2009 16:24:00 +0000

Check out this print and my other listings at www.photosbypenny.etsy.com!

Life, Purpose, Faith

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Thu, 22 Jan 2009 17:10:00 +0000

Where to begin...reflecting, as in my last post, is what I have been doing. Reflecting on my purpose, our purpose. Reflecting on the big WHY. Delving into concepts and pondering subjects that the human brain (mine at least) is not equipped to entirely grasp.

We pass from infancy to adolescence in the time, so it seems, it takes for a good night's rest. Our adult years are much shorter by comparison, racing by in jumps and starts. Highlights and milestones standout in the blurr of time. And how do we spend it? We spend it on trivialities. We worry over insignificance. We collect debt and worthless possessions.

So what are we supposed to do? What is our purpose? What can we do but live the day to day? In the grand scheme of eternal life, what is the purpose of our human existence? Is this a test to see if we are worthy? Is it a contest to see who can resist in a world of temptation? And where is that line? What is the benchmark we are all trying to achieve? Can we win? Can we lose??

By the time I reach all the questions of 'what if' and the 'why', my head is spinning. I have to accept that there are some things that we are just not meant to know. That is a frustrating reality for a personality that is results oriented. I am a "what needs to be done?" person. I am a "list" person. And, as I am reminded each time I reach this point, this is where my faith comes in.

I must have faith that there is a bigger picture, a grand plan that I have a part in. I must have faith that as I muddle through my life, trying to make the "right" decisions, that I am fulfilling the purpose I have been put on Earth for. I admit, it does sound a bit egocentric to think that I am personally a significant part of Our Creator's plan and, yet, I believe it to be true.

And so, I am back to the trivialities of my life. Yes, in the moment many things are important and pressing, but I am conscious that some things that are taken SO seriously are really not. I remember that decisions and situations that seem incredibly significant at the moment, may one day be virtually, if not entirely, inconsequential. I realize that possessions are not worth the debt.

Most of all I realize that, yet again, I don't have the answers, all I can do is what I think is best, the best I know how. I have to lean on God. I have to give up my white knuckled grip on control, a control I never really had.

Reflecting...

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Wed, 10 Dec 2008 17:22:00 +0000

The past is always there, whether we choose to focus on it or not.

It's Begging to Look A Lot Like Christmas!

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 09 Dec 2008 19:13:00 +0000

I am looking more forward to this Christmas more than any other Christmas in recent history. I am not anxious to have it get here and over with. I feel like I will get to enjoy the season for the first time in years. The gifts I have for everyone were carefully considered, many homemade.

The lesson I shared with my SuperChurch (kids' church) really hit home for me. We talked about all the preparation for special guests especially around the holidays. We talked about cleaning and decorating and making food and treats. We discussed why we did all those things and how that made our guests feel welcome and special. We talked about all the preparations being for the guest of honor, Jesus Christ and then we decorated our room to welcome Him.

That simple lesson is what I want to live this holiday season. I want my guests and loved ones to know that they are special and worth the efforts and preparations. That all of my "work" was done out of a place of love and care, not obligation and stress. Our shopping for the holidays has been scaled back, but I plan to bake and decorate as usual, if not more. The only thing I am changing is my attitude while doing all me typical holiday preparations. I plan to have more fun, be more creative and worry less. I plan to be more generous, not less.

I thrive on doing for others and have somehow gotten cynical over the years. This year I plan to revert back to my naive ways. I will believe that there is nothing anyone would appreciate more than a dozen homemade cookies or a handmade ornament. I will play Christmas music and have hot cider at the ready for unexpected guests. I will give without thought or want of receiving. Perhaps more difficult, I will be a gracious recipient without feeling as if I must answer with an equal gift. I will take special care in my wrap and presentation.

All of the things I enjoyed about the holidays gradually became tedious chores over the years. I dreaded baking and decorating--things I LOVE to do! I also have to let go of getting everything done perfectly. I may not get it all done. That is OK.

I want my kids to remember a fun, festive, joyous atmostphere, not the stresses of the holidays or just the toys they get. I am taking my Happy Holidays back.

Deep thoughts...

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Thu, 04 Dec 2008 17:19:00 +0000

Wow, with all my new followers I feel so obliged to blog. I should have all these interesting things to say and words of wisdom to impart.

Nothing earth shattering to share, just continued tightening of our financial belt. Not sure how much more we can squeeze before we really feel some major changes around here. News from my husband's work is not good and getting worse. It seems they may need to shut down for a month or more.

On the upside of all this, we are aligning our priorities and seeing things as "needs" and "wants" more clearly. Somethings will have to go and that is OK. The kids are great and even my teenager gets it now. I love that they are being more thoughtful with their requests, but I do not want them to feel guilty if they do need something. We can do what we need to do and will always make it work, but no extras, no "wants".

I am sure that in 10 years or so, we will look back at this time in our family's life and see that it strengthened us financially, spiritually and emotionally. I don't think we are going through anything unique or even that tough compared to the struggles of others. I do think that it is a challenge that we are up for. I hope that we will come through this time better for what we have learned and that the worst we will have to endure is no satellite tv and a less than lavish Christmas. But if in fact things become bleaker still, I am confident we will come up with creative solutions and will find that some of our current "needs" may actually be unnecessary luxuries.

Cliches again abound in my thinking, "all that glitters is not gold", "true wealth is measured not in dollars and cents", "you cannot buy happiness" and on and on...I think we all believe these sayings to be true, but few live them out loud. We pile on "things" to make us look and feel better, possibly because we are scared to judge ourselves and let ourselves be judged for the person we are. I feel like peeling back the layers is freeing, the layers of STUFF that weigh us down. Removing all our adornments, to reveal what is beneath. Scary? Yes. Liberating? Absolutely.

Latest endeavor...

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Sun, 30 Nov 2008 07:10:00 +0000

The Holidays are Here Again!

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:08:00 +0000

'Tis the season yet again! The yummy foods and treats, get-togethers with family and friends, giving and receiving. There is an electricity in the air! Carols and sleigh bell sounds bring back the magical feelings of holidays past. The smell of gingerbread, cinnamon and spiced apple cider warm from the inside out! It is 'the most wonderful time of the year'!

I was dreading being on a tight budget this gift giving season, but have found that I am much more particular and creative with my choices. I am having a ball finding just the right gift for that special person, a gift that will truly be appreciated (hopefully!) and that comes with an extra dose of consideration for the recipient. The smaller the budget the greater the effort and thought.

With each person on my list I realize how few (if any) are expecting/demanding a large expensive gift or a gift at all. As I look at the names (each one dear to me) and think what would this person TRULY want from me, from anyone? I answer again and again with: They would love to know that we thought of them, care for them and that we were HAPPY to give the gift. Starting from this place, I have the beginnings of what hopes to become a fabulous and memorable Christmas, filled not with "what" but "who"!

It is cliche to say that I am discovering the TRUE MEANING OF CHRISTMAS, but I suppose they become cliches for a reason! I thought I already new what was important, but it is becoming clearer with each passing year how important and yet under appreciated our closest loved ones are. Friends you have forever...and family will always be there...not true. Hug them, tell them you love them, appreciate them. Say it with words...what a few kind, heartfelt words can do for another is spectacular and long lasting. The next time you think a nice thing about someone, let it slip out!

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Mon, 24 Nov 2008 23:08:00 +0000

Images for Etsy

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Wed, 19 Nov 2008 20:11:00 +0000

Ok...took some new pics for my Etsy store! Please, vote/comment on which you like best or if I should go back to the drawing board! Thanks!

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 16:48:00 +0000

Click to enlarge images.

November Rain

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 11 Nov 2008 02:46:00 +0000

I love the rain! Storms, thunder, lightning, hail, winds...the louder the better--the crashing and howling.

I love being warm and cozy in bed or sitting by the fire listening to the rain beat on the roof. A good book, my favorite quilt, a cup of chamomile tea and a roaring coastal storm make for a perfect afternoon.

Rain is soup weather, baking weather...all the things that make a house smell and feel like a home. Rain is rubber boots and umbrella weather...mud puddle stomping weather. Rain is wear your pajamas all day and watch a movie weather. Rain is lets play boardgames and cards weather.

A rain storm is time for a deep heart to heart, a pillow fight, a passionate debate. It is time to build a Lego city or a coach-cushion fort. A rain storm is time for breakfast for dinner or a picnic in the living room. I love the rain!

And after a good soaking, the world looks so much more vibrant, like everything has been scrubbed clean. The greens are greener, the browns are richer. The air feels thicker, more substantial. The world feels robust and healthy.

Time Marches On

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Wed, 05 Nov 2008 17:22:00 +0000

Wow, it has been a week since I have blogged and WHAT A WEEK! Halloween, a payday and an election. In our little world that is the order of importance, too. Of course we watched the elections and have our opinions, but in the end we are back to the daily grind and taking care of our little family. I am finding ways to cut costs and bring in small amounts of money that add up! I have just about broken even on my photocards (yea!) and Ebay is a trickle of income. I am having difficulty finding the time to list items on Ebay, make my cards and blog (hence the week of silence!). As with moms across our country, the world and time, I never seem to find enough hours in the day to complete everything on my to-do list. And when I wake up in the morning the list seems to have grown and everything I marked off the day before is back again!

Taking photographs has all but fallen off my list. It is dangling by a thread of hope for some "me" time. I see a passing photo-op and think..."I wish I had my camera." or "I wish I could just stop and take photos for an hour or so." Ha! An hour to just stay in one place and take photographs? What luxury! We are running, running, running, everyday. To school, to the store, to the post office...I know that is the story all moms have to tell. I try to stop and give my babies a hug when I think about all the time that slips by while we are running. That is one reason I love photography...it is a moment. A moment I can hold on to. Pictures of the kids let us be in those moments again. Their proud moments, their sweet moments, their happy moments, their everyday moments. I have often wished I could somehow prolong each stage of their little lives...I am sure it would never quite be long enough. If I could just enjoy those moments when they are tiny and dependent and exude such pure, palpable love for just a bit longer. Maybe I could soak it up, so it will last. Until someone figures out a way to slow time, travel back in time, my photos will have to be enough.

Photo Cards

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 28 Oct 2008 21:57:00 +0000

Click to enlarge image.

OK...Here Goes Nothing!

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Mon, 27 Oct 2008 17:28:00 +0000

One of the reasons for starting this blog is to write...babble...carry on about things that come to mind or I feel compelled to share. However, the central motive for this forum is to promote my photocards. I have been testing the waters here and there. My focus groups consist mainly of friends and family, so this is my first tentative step into the unknown, unpredictable and totally petrifying court of public opinion.

I have available for purchase all of the cards in the image above. Also I can make any of the pictures featured on the blog into cards.

I would love any and all feedback--positive or otherwise (be gentle!).

I have my cards on http://www.winkelf.com/ for purchase as a set or to order directly from me in any combination or quantity, you can email me at fotosbypenny@gmail.com.

Thank you and God Bless!

Digital or Bust

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Thu, 16 Oct 2008 16:08:00 +0000

The luggage was packed and stacked by the door. We remembered our clothes, our shoes, our toiletries and more. The kids were tossing and turning in their beds, visions of Mickey and Minnie dancing and singing in their heads. In just a few hours we would be on our way and arrive at the Happiest Place on Earth by the end of the day! I was making a mental list of all the pictures I'd take after travelling those miles. Minnie and Mickey, the rest of the gang, posed with my wee ones lit-up with BIG smiles.

I had plenty of film (20 rolls!) and three extra lithium batteries, just in case! My carry-on sized camera bag was ready and in its rightful place.

The truck was loaded with kids and with stuff. We were off on time, well close enough. I sat back to get settled for the long drive ahead. But what was that little yellow box...the one with KODAK in red? My husband beamed as he handed it to me. My heart sunk just a little as I sat the box on my knee. I read the box, then the manual for my new shiny Kodak EasyShare. I was hoping my smiles and my Thank Yous didn't give away my true despair. My poor Rebel, did it know? Could it feel? I was sure I could use both...I would make an appeal. The new one was more mobile and easier to pack, but the Rebel was better and took nicer pictures than the new Kodak.

I rode with my present between myself and the door. My old friend sat by my feet, in the bag on the floor.

The Other Camera

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Tue, 14 Oct 2008 15:51:00 +0000

I graduated from a point and shoot 35mm (a wonderful Pentax IQ zoom WR) to a Cannon Rebel 2000. I was so intimidated by the options offered to me by this new camera. The training wheels were off! I read the owners manual again and again. I invested in rolls and rolls of film to ensure the capture of THE PERFECT SHOT. My new partner was always within an arms reach.

The Rebel was a bit awkward to carry and the added bulk of extra rolls of film, back-up batteries and additional lenses made a large camera case a must. Digital cameras were gaining in popularity, but it was still the consensus of the photography community that digital prints paled in comparison to prints made from film negatives. This belief would become my mantra, my shield. Everywhere we went, digital cameras abounded. The cost and quality of such cameras gave me justification to hold onto my old ways, my 'ol Rebel.

I looked forward to an impending family vacation, an opportunity for us to strut our stuff. True the bag and camera bulk would be a bit inconvenient, but what is a little inconvenience when preserving the memories of a lifetime?

And then IT arrived.

A Kodak EasyShare digital camera. Smaller than my Rebel. No film or lenses to tote. Convenient.

Photography and I had reached another defining moment in our relationship. What did this mean for my Rebel? Surely I wouldn't abandon it for a point and shoot DIGITAL camera?

A New Day

fotosbypenny@gmail.com (Penny) — Fri, 10 Oct 2008 18:14:00 +0000

I am on an adventure to find my place, my passion, myself. I wander this way and that, trying things on. Does that fit? Does this? I stay on a path until I am pulled onto another. At times it feels aimless, passive. At others it is exhilarating as I sprint away with a new idea! Creativity and innovation are keys to my new journey. Limits that held me back, are now new challenges that inspire me to think outside the proverbial box.

I am experiencing old interests anew to see if they were just fleeting fancies or are worth a deeper look. My "keep" pile is minimal. I am learning as I age and live life, that clutter is clutter. Physical clutter, mental clutter, emotional clutter...all of it weighs us down and blocks our paths. I am clearing clutter, getting it out of my way. My life is becoming lighter, sleeker, freer.

Photography is a hobby I have enjoyed since I bought my first camera when I was 10. I loved the colors and trying to frame the picture just right. I took pictures of things that were important to me: my family, my pink ten-speed bike that I had saved every penny for, the creek by our house. Over the years, photography and I have had an off and on again relationship. My camera and I were, at times inseparable, grabbing every available opportunity to be together. We attended parties and ball games, we hung out at the park and enjoyed everyday moments. Then life crept in. Life moved on. Technology intruded. My 35 mm became a dinosaur, a conversation piece, a novelty. I refused to step into the digital age. I clung to my camera and my film. I was pushed, no shoved into the twenty-first century and digital photography. I managed, however, to keep one foot planted squarely in defiance and denial.